Client Testimonial: Recovery First Experience

When I walked into Recovery First for the first time, I was broken. When I left 42
days later, I was hopeful. I truly planned on staying clean and becoming the woman the
staff showed me that I could be.

The shame I felt when I relapsed was worse than I could have ever imagined; I
didn’t feel ashamed, I felt shameful. I believed that I let down everyone who had worked
so hard to help me. Those feelings kept me high for over a month, until in desperation I
reached out for help. I was too embarrassed to call anyone who might know me, so I
called the hotline and left a message. Within minutes Chris called me back, with his only
concern being my safety. Hours later, I walked back into Detox with my head bowed,
grateful that it was nighttime so I didn’t have to explain myself to everyone. I felt like a
complete failure and I just didn’t know how I was going to explain myself.

The next morning the first person I saw was Paul. I expected disappointment and
anger but I was greeted with a hug instead. Shira and Paul spent an entire morning sitting
in a room with me trying to explain that if I wanted to live, I needed to go to long term
treatment. I was resistant to the idea, to say the least.

Later that afternoon, alone in my room, I got to thinking…why would two
directors spend their entire morning talking to me? What was their motive? It took me a
long time to realize that their reason was that they care about me and their motive was
saving my life. They easily could have just sent me back to the residential program, got
paid by my insurance, and called it a day. However, they were not willing to do that
because they knew that I needed more help. They weren’t at all concerned with making a
profit; they honestly and sincerely wanted to do what was best for me as an individual.

The Recovery First staff loved me when I could not love myself and now they were
determined to save my life when I was willing to throw it away. I realized that since I did
not have my best interests at heart, maybe it was time to listen to someone who did. The
minute I showed the willingness, everyone was eager to help me. I realize now that there
is no shame in coming back, in fact the shame is not returning at all.

Over the next few days Chris worked diligently to find me the best possible place
to go for long term treatment. He made numerous phone calls, talked to a ton of different
people, all for the sole purpose of helping me.

Today I am getting ready to leave Recovery First. I am very nervous but also
excited. I am confident in my decision to continue treatment because I am finally
listening to those who know what is best for me. The Recovery First team has developed
this plan for me, and because I fully trust them I am going to go forward and put my
heart and soul into my treatment and my recovery.

Before coming back into Detox, I felt like I had no purpose in my life. I was
merely existing, not truly living. However after watching people like Shira, Paul and
Chris over this past week, seeing the passion that they have for what they do, I realize
that I want to be exactly like them. This isn’t just a job for them; they are truly saving
people’s lives. Someday I want to do for someone else what they have done for me. That
is my goal and the purpose that I am going to strive for.

Thank you for saving my life.

{Clients name withheld}